Tuesday 29 December 2009

Badness

Crashage: "I am a bad man."

Foof: "You're not a bad man. Situations just contrive to make you do a lot of bad things."

Monday 28 December 2009

Contemplations on relationships

Crashage: "Why is it you always end up with twats, and I always end up with psychos?"

Foof: "Because all men are twats, and all women are psychos."

Crashage: "Actually yeah. I am a bit of a twat. Are you a psycho?"

Foof: "Oh yeah, totally."

Interrogation 101

An interview with Crashage (by Foof)

Q. If music is the food of love, what colour would you be if you were a crayon and why?

A. Orange, because it is both vibrant and edible.

Q. It's the end of the world. You're about to go out with a bang. What are your immortal last words?

A. Looks like they were right.

Q. What is your agenda?

A. My agenda is to pretty much to drift through life day to day on the off chance that every now and then someone or something will catch my attention and make me feel like there's a point to any of this. And also to play videogames and guitar and drink whiskey.

Q. Describe yourself in Iambicpentametre.

A. I actually cannot, I am not a very good English Lit student.

Q. Why are you doing this?

A. I'm not, therefore this question is invalid. Litter department.

Q. Would you rather put papercuts in the corners of your mouth and inbetween your fingers and toes or slowly push many small needles into your eyes?

A. The former, by a pretty large margin.

Q. You can ony watch one film for the rest of your life. Which film do you choose?

A. Hot Rod. The deep, intricate plot driven by the realistic and relatable yet slightly whimsical cast of characters coupled with the wonderfully terrible jokes every six seconds is actually the greatest thing ever. This is not sarcasm.

Q. The red pill, or the blue pill?

A. The purple one.

Q. Sam I am.

A. lol Retard

Hello again!

An interview with Foof (by Crashage)

Q. Describe yourself in four words

A. Does not have tumor

Q. Freshwater or saltwater?

A. Freshwater

Q. Where is McCauly Culkin right now?

A. Looking at pctures of his friends on facebook whilst choking himself and masturbating.

Q. If you could give anyone an enema, who would it be?

A. Megan Fox. I bet her shit is as hot as she is.

Q. Have you ever put a dogs foot in your both?

A. I have no idea what a both is, but I assume I've never put a dogs foot in one. Animal abuse yo

Q. Have you ever put your own foot in your mouth?

A. When I was younger I used to suck my own toes. These are facts

Q. What are you doing with your life at the moment?

A. Protecting my city from the horrors and deviance of its people, under the subtle guise of a university student with a drinking problem and a dark past.

Q. Why should people read this blog?

A. Because if you don't someone I know will take you in your sleep. Without lube. You poor bastard

Q. On a scale of 1 - Awesome, how awesome are St Bernards?

A. PHENOMINAL

Hello!

Hello! We are Crashage and Foof, and this is our blog. Here we will post things. We are students of English literature, the human condition, and videogames. We hope you enjoy our blog =]

Crashage